Sun(burnt) Child

nothing

"The Rest"

Three months and twenty-two days ago
You said you’ve decided to stop loving me
So I did the same to seem like I wasn’t dying
I was skinny, tired, and afraid
with no hair on my face to hide away these thoughts of losing my one best friend
My lover and my light
and I write because after all that time
I saw you again, tonight.

A room that’s too small to breathe
But not small enough to kill me
Crush my worthless body in order to stop me from screaming
for you to come back
for you to let me in
I’ve lived in a box for nights that turned to day
And I turn to a God I hope is there
And with words so full, they spill out of me,
I pray

Bits of information
and so thread to sting them together
Time gave me it’s deadliest poison
and promised I’d never be better
No one took me for who I was
and I hate everything about who I am
Three simple words I’ll never hear
are constantly ringing in my ears and playing in my stupid head

So I put on a front tonight for you and for myself
I acted like a fool for acting like there was something left
Wishing thinking tore me to shreds and I still laying in your bed
Whispering “I love you” and never caring about what time it is
Now I’ve grown my beard out
and didn’t maintain myself
because I thought that maybe if I didn’t look the way I did the day you left,
I’d feel like nothing ever happened.
I saw you tonight and tomorrow this won’t make sense
But I’ll keep loving you
while you spend time with the rest

Drown

"Tears"

My tears have made my bedsheets discolored

and my heart is disfigured
My heart is blacked by the smoke
that only makes me wither
I see light and dark collide when 
only us two are together
Still, I lay in filth 
and think the thoughts that scare my 
mother
and I am so fascinated
these tears hold so much color
There’s a pace at which I’m 
running 
because unlike all the others
you make me feel like something
It’s easy to sing about the things that make me sad
but it’s hard to tell you that 
I’m really just mad
because I don’t want to scare you,
I don’t want you to run,
I want to you to see that we laugh,
have each other and have fun
as we smile awkwardly at the faces we both see,
but I can’t say I love you 
simply because I’m scared you don’t love me
The sidelines are fucking annoying 
and I’m done with fucking crying 
over the fact that there’s so much to say
but I know that you’re not dying 
to hear that what I feel is real,
so honest, oh-so sincere
I’m done with hiding from your reactions
I’m over living in fear
Still, I’ll wait until you’re ready 
to say you need me to survive
Until you finally admit your love
Just know I am too ready to die

kiabadmeza:

Backtrack - Die Knowing Tour

Chain Reaction, Anaheim, CA

Photos By: Kiabad Meza

hey I was there